Reverend Jide Macaulay has opened up about his personal journey as a gay man who once lived in a heterosexual marriage, shedding light on the struggles many face under cultural and religious pressures.
According to him, his sexuality never changed despite marrying a woman. “I was gay before I got married, gay throughout the seven years of my marriage, and gay after I came out,” he revealed.
He explained that his marriage was not truly a choice but the result of family expectations, religious teachings, and cultural pressure. The experience, he said, left him living in fear and silence, carrying guilt on multiple fronts — for hiding his truth, for not being able to love his wife the way she deserved, and for failing to meet society’s expectations.
Reverend Macaulay added that his life took a turning point when he moved to an environment where being queer was less condemned. It was then he found the courage to embrace his identity openly.
“Coming out after marriage was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It caused heartbreak, but it also gave me freedom. I didn’t choose to be gay, but I chose to stop lying about it — and that saved my life,” he said.
He emphasized that his story is not unique, but reflects the experiences of countless men around the world who are pressured into marriages that deny their true identities.
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